So what now?
Almost a year ago to the day, I was told by a cute fledgling optometrist, fresh out of graduate school, that I might have a terrible eye disease that is launching WWIII against my retinas. Her words, I swear.
"Much more testing will need to happen, but it looks as though you might have a disease called retinitis pigmentosa."
"Gesundheit."
As Dr. Chan hesitantly flipped through her handy referential textbook to find the chapter entitled "What To Do When They've Lost Peripheral Vision And You Don't Know What To Say" or even better "So You're An Optometrist And You Suddenly Need To Summon Bedside Manner: 10 Helpful Tips" she urged me not to research the disease that I could barely pronounce until I knew for sure. Yeah, right. You try hearing that your retinas are dying, and see if you don't peep our dear friend Wikipedia once or nine times...
Dozens of Wikipedia visits and one diagnosis later, and here we are. Well, here I am.
Fast-forward through an argument with my parents in which I insisted that designer sunglasses will protect my eyes better (I lost)... a hasty move to Laguna Beach accompanied by an ER visit... memorizing the bus route to the mall quicker than any other route (oops)... learning that drawing naked folks is crucial to my career as an artist... deciding that although I had no issue with said naked folks, I didn't want to go to art school anymore... moving back to the Bay Area to instead focus on journalism...
So what now, Internet? Now that I've admitted to not only growing acclimated to this disease but am self-proclaimed at peace with it? Just sit around and wait? Maybe learn Braille if I feel like it? Rewatch the LOST series finale for the fourth time?
None of the above (except that last one, of course). Simply... move on. There are other things to talk about, to discover, to enjoy, to cry about even. If you've been a loyal follower of this blog from the beginning, or even just from this post, I want to extend my deepest gratitude for your support, encouragement, and prayers throughout this ordeal; your words of kindness have helped cure me. This blog has been a great source of therapy for me, flashes of peace here and there amidst deep pain. I will of course continue to blog, but about things more focused on the arts and my budding career as a journalist; you will not see me mention my eyes very much from here on out... besides the occasional quip.
Oh, how I do love the occasional quip.
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Funniest blog post thus far. I feel like such a cheerleader, but I don't care. Keep it up, Published Writer!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI'm putting your blog on my blogroll. I'll say a couple things . . . I can relate to what you say in the end about the gratitude for the support from your readers and the therapy that you've found through blogging.
I know it's tempting to say "I won't blog about X" . . . but the truth of the matter is if you use your blog like I use mine, as a sort of sponge for your experiences and evolution, then your blog will inevitably reflect your experiences and evolution, and if that means talking about your disease, then you'll talk about it.
I'm amazed by your level of strength. I imagine it's this level of strength that attracts people to your writing. It's your voice that comes in crystal clear and which makes you a great writer.
I'm so pleased to have you on board Escape into Life. You really will add a whole new dimension to the site. And I'm delighted with your high standards because I have high standards myself. It really shows in everything you do.
:) Wow.. So you have moved from Arts to Journalism eh? I was really wondering what you were going to do...
ReplyDeleteI took up pseudo-journalism too as part of my internship! Now into full time writing.
Great to see your blog once again after a really long time! Nice to hear that you're keeping it going!
Cheers!
@laafatlife: Thanks for reading! I need to get better about blogging more often, but comments like yours encourage me to get my butt into gear. Hope all is well with you!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI've just combed through the last few posts on your blog and you've seriously inspired me beyond belief. I don't know if I could face everything you're going through with the same amazing attitude. You are honestly an inspiration.
Allie
Laura,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the the paragraph where you thank your readers, it occurred to me: thank YOU.
Thank YOU for being an inspiration.
blogging got me through the toughest time in my life. on those days i was so angry or had lost hope, it helped to pound the words out on the keyboard. when i posted my friends that i found in the blogworld came out in droves to support me, showing me encouragement and support and these were people who had never met me!
ReplyDeleteit seems like you have found a level of acceptance of your situation. congratulations. good days/bad days, i hope that you will continue to document it all. it's a wonderful thing to reflect on, last night i read my blog back two years and i'm amazed at how much i've changed and how much i've stayed the same.
be strong, dear lady! it was a pleasure to read your words tonight.
Hi this is arty. Following you. I have no words to say dear. Be strong.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! The only constant in life is change and I am looking forward to more stories about how you are going to continue to roll with the changes...
ReplyDeleteBlogging definitely has got me through some difficult times in the past year! It looks like you have the right attitude (and an awesome sense of humor). I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best!
ReplyDeleteWOW! I'm a new reader, but I am so struck by your amazing attitude. Regardless of what the future holds, I know you will make the most of it!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI was drawn to your blog because of your short bio on the Escape Into Life site.
I think your courage is admirable.
I think that low vision is an asset. I was born with a cataract and have very low vision, but in college I did a research paper (one of the only things I've published thus far) on vision and the remaining senses. I wanted to find out if it really is true that low vision makes the other senses stronger. Articles in Nature and other scientific magazines confirmed this-- that the brain has cross-modal plasticity. If you would like, I can send you more information. Wishing you continued success!
Lisa C.
Thank you so much everyone for the encouragement! It means the world to me!
ReplyDeleteLisa, I would love to get my hands on your paper! Feel free to email it to me at artbylauralawson@gmail.com
I appreciate the positive comments and you reaching out!
Blessings to all of you! xoxo
I just happened across your blog and really have only read this one post, but I'm definitely going to come back for more!
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine has this same disease and he has a great attitude about it. We all joke about it (as college kids are fond of joking about everything) but it really is sad when the facts of his impending blindness come up: he recently started using a walking stick at night because he can't see, for example.
And it is truly beautiful when to see his girlfriend of four years guide him down some stairs, and heartbreaking to think that there'll come a time when he won't be able to see her face.
Well. Now I've gone and gotten myself all sad. I guess, just know I feel for you.
Hi California, we can't provide you a cure. But we can reduce the speed of the degeneration. After a long time of scientific research we may say that. Visit www.retinacomplex.com send us an email and we will answer all your questions. Basic sientific reasearch on mice in 2006 showed a decrease in degeneration of the retina more than 25%. Human clinical studies for RP and AMD confirmed statistally significant differences between the placebo and the treatment group, so take your benefit! The best wishes from Holland!
ReplyDelete